Imperial Cleaning

Queen (band)

Had to laugh at these. Brian May commented, "It's a worthy challenge for us, and I'm sure Adam would meet with Freddie's approval.

Beer, beaches and bare naked... bingo?

Navigation menu

We've named 'em all. Step back, kiss yourself, and say hello to Brozzie There aint much happening folks The day all the lovely ladies don huge hats in the hope of getting a blue ribbon. And we thought it was all about the horses We have to say folks we're fast becoming big fans of the talent coming out of new player on the block, Distinct Model Management, especially the fresh faced Li-Ann Small. But don't fret folks, those Hollywood types didn't totally forget about wee Ireland.

British actress and a big star from said movie, Ruth Wilson, shone with beauty in the foyer of the old Dublin cinema Summer fashions usually include light breathable fabrics, tees, shorts, skirts, sandals, and shades. But this being Ireland, the aul trusty umbrella has to be part of every outfit single consideration.

Like, keep one tucked into yer speedos. All of Ireland's top catwalkers were on show and Bray's very own Laura Whitmore was there hosting the whole sexy shebang. What a way to launch a festival It was all to do with Cheek Frills knickers and bras and wotnot Miss Ireland has been chosen folks and we're totally stoked. But, she's also a natural ginger top. It really is about time Ireland sent a redhead out to conquer the world Our very own Rozanna Purcell has evolved a wee bit since we first laid eyes on her at Miss Universe Ireland back in Finally, she's an uber fit Super Woman seeking justice while chasing down the bad guys on Dublin's shady streets The weather's way too warm to even contemplate winter woolies.

But then again folks, fashion never sleeps. Yesterday we got the first previews of the Brown Thomas Autumn Winter collections with the likes of new gal Li-Ann Small from Distinct Model Management showing us all what's in store We're in unchartered territory folks as far as weather goes.

Over a week of glorious uninterrupted sunshine, it's nearly got to the stage where we're taking it all for granted. Like, we've even sent our factor smothered snappers out to the beach where all the best action seems to be at That Marker Hotel is fast becoming the 'in' place in the city to be seen folks. We're hearing very good things. Yesterday we staked out the hip joint like the good paps that we are and spotted a whole bunch o' celeb types, some doing The Apprentice thang Shout The Musical opened at The Tivoli last week bringing waves of Sixties nostalgia loaded with fashion and music from the swingingest of decades.

We're happy to report Ireland's most fashion-zany weather woman Jean Byrne was there, dressed very appropriate for the era. Saying that, she was probably just wearing the first thing that fell out of her infamous wardrobe It's almost that time of the year once again folks.

All the new Miss Irelandites got rolled out in front of our snappers yesterday at Buck Whaleys for a preview of their loveliness. A bumper crop for , a vintage year we think you'll find They're shining a much needed light for children and celebrating their 10th anniversary doing so.

This year has seen the CARI charity put its fashion foot forward with some big glitzy shows. There's no denying that our very own Amanda Byram has taken the TV presenting world by storm over the past decade or so with her unique brand of cheeky Irish charisma and beauty in bags. Well folks, Everleigh Garden can thank the once controversial smoking ban for moving operations outside and creating a whole new Dublin club vibe.

We wuz there for Ladies' Night this week Those crazy Cannonballers are about to get together once again for the annual Run. Petrol-heads and busty babes combine for three days every August, all in the name of fast flash motors. She's the hottest property we have out in Hollywoodland at the moment, winning every big role there is for a fresh-faced innocent. You'd have to be living under a sound-proof rock not to know Rihanna was hanging out in Dublin over the weekend gone.

It seemed like every club in town was having an after-concert-after-party. We made it to three such venues, our Ri-Ri even made an appearance at one If like us you're a big fan of the zombie movie genre, well folks, things just even zombier.

And if that wasn't drama enough for you we had Tallafornia former love birds at the Irish Premiere last night, with one of them showing off a new bit of eye-candy The weather gave us four seasons every ten minutes and yet it was still a rather tasty weekend. Over at the lovely Iveagh Gardens we had another year of culinary delights, festive fare, and gorgeous Glenda with the Taste of Dublin They may be sadly down a member but the Boyzone boyz went back to where it all started last night when they recorded a 'For One Night Only' special with Gay Byrne to celebrate their 20th anniversary.

We're so excira right now some wee just escaped We have a bone to pick with Reality TV show makers and telecasters is that a thing? According to those in the know, Angela Scanlon is a presenter, fashion writer and stylist on the up And you gotta have an edge folks. All we know is she's a hot ginger Irish gal with attitude and freckles in buckets, last night we caught up with her good self at the 'Alex And Ani' launch in Arnotts Ireland and sunny weather don't usually belong in the same sentence so we're all chuffed to bits and trying to rock 'pasty paddy in the sun' chic.

This week we spotted a few familiar faces trying to navigate early summer fashion and Dublin in the sun Of course, The Glenda and a few other ShowBiz. Good news - we hear she's landed a right decent nixer here in Dublin.

Well folks, it seems 80s nostalgia is right back in style at Movies at Dundrum. Popcorn is vegan-friendly, right? Happy to say, our Jimbob was back to his old self when judged Miss Vanilla at Vanilla Nightclub last weekend with a few other likely lads Fashion and charity go hand in hand in this town folks, those shrewd stylistas like to mix the two so those without get something from those with.

Ever since the Conor Buckley fella leant his midas-touch to the newly opened Madison Nightclub on Wicklow Street the place has been choc-a-bloc folks.

It's a favourite charity for ladies that like to lunch and one of our favourites too folks. But at least we had a few sexy models on hand and a classic Ford Escort RS One of the great Irish model agency traditions is the annual glam Christmas Party folks, as sure as Santa himself.

Rochie's gals hit Harry's on the Green for some Summer Lovin' last weekend It was a pretty busy weekend folks here at the Biz of Show. They nearly fooled us by having it in the very same location as last year's bash, but you can't out-fox a foxy fox, as they say Ever want to know what it would feel like to walk around in Glenda Gilson's or Amy Huberman's glam clothes? Well, you no longer have to swipe gear off their washing lines folks. You can now get their garbs at the very reasonable price with the 'Buy My Dress' campaign Irish broadcasting ledge Gerry Ryan may be gone but he's most certainly living on through his talented tribe of ShowBizzy kids.

And of course, there was a few other Ryaners in the crowd cheering her on We're big fans of old footage of Johnny Giles doing twinkle toes on the soccer pitch. Hey, we even dig how his eyebrows dance on screen during his punditry. But seeing the former footie star doing his thing on the dance-floor? Well, that's another matter. Well now, well now. The Voice of Ireland wrapped-up last night with the talented Keith Hanley walking away as victor.

And in true music industry style, the cast and crew hit the town for the traditional wrap-party. Even our Kelly Mongan tagged along despite being a tad past her due-date But after a few half shandies, a bit of bop, and all that VIP razzmatazz - a good few of the gorgeous guests let it all hang out folks.

Witness, after the VIPs It was anything but That's right, it felt like a far bigger much brassier and more bodacious affair than ever before at The Marker Hotel. Here is a mere fraction of all the lovely gunas rocking the red carpet last weekend Yet it all went a bit 80s last weekend when she rocked a modern day twist on the dreaded Perm.

There's a novel new way to fund films folks. We're talking table quizzes. That's right, the aul knees-up down the boozer with a few teams with funny names like The Cupid Stunts answering questions is a shrewd way of getting seed-money to get your wee flick moving. Here at the ShowBizness of Irelandness we like to keep our eye on what's coming next, so you'll always find us checking out what those student types are up to.

Prepare To Be Broody Now, we don't normally run photos of babies and all that girlie stuff but after TV3 presenter Anna Daly introduced her baby Euan to us outside Mothercare yesterday we just went all goo-goo-gooey.

It has taken a while but finally The Late Late has developed an edge folks. Turns-out the boys can talk as good as they mix their martial arts She's doing a bit of the aul shoe design.

Now, what with her being the busiest human being in Ireland, we don't understand where she got the time to produce a full range of exquisite Bourbon shoes for women She must have Elves If you happen down by the Lord Edward Street direction you might find yourself in 15th century France folks for TV movie 'Reign' is currently shooting at Christ Church. They fight like their Da does, do the Irish dancin', and wear the double denim.

What with all her fancy hobnobbing over in that London and other far flung places, we don't get to see too much of Georgia Salpa these days. Sure, we fell-out a few times over the years but what family doesn't? Well, The Salpa was home last night chowing down the finest Thai grub at Koh Restaurant with her model mates They've been a hot ShowBiz couple about the town for a while yet Daniella Moyles and Dara Quilty have flown under the radar by keeping it all on the D.

Our favourite time of the year, Beauty Pageant Season has kicked off folks and we couldn't be happier. When does a joke stop being funny folks? A millisecond after the people it's taking the piss out of get in on it.

Indie Pendence Days are coming to Cork this summer folks but don't worry, we won't need Will Smith to get us out of an intergalactic overlord suppression type scenario. It's only a mere month away from the Peter Mark VIP Style Awards folks, and all of the favourites are already out being uber stylish on a daily basis, looking to scoop-up one of those coveted prizes.

Yesterday we went for a slap-up breakfast with some of the top style contenders on South William Street where ner a greasy spoon fry-up was consumed by anyone Between all the gaiety, blood, boozin' and tears there was actually a few hip young popstaresque celebrity types in town over Paddy's weekend folks.

We had the likes of One Direction, Girls Aloud and Carrie Underwood knocking around this rather green-around-the-gills city Has anyone noticed the high number bikini clad photocalls in the papers this week with a St Patrick's Day theme? We're not complaining or anything but we're not quite sure Saint Paddy would have approved. The ladies of Dublin took a rather long Diet Coke break yesterday to celebrate the 30th anniversary of Diet Coke.

Well, that's not strictly true folks. But the talented song and dance man didn't just leave it there folks, hell no.

He hit Everleigh Garden for his gig afterparty, and even brought his very own drink As unlikely as it sounds folks, apparently our fav model-come-DJ Louise Kavanagh can't find herself a full-time fella in Dublin and we hear she's on an iPhone dating App finding a man. We don't really know why our very own Samantha Mumba has dropped off the Pop radar over the past few years folks, but we've really missed the gal.

Last weekend she made her live comeback at F. Some of the prettiest gals about town can be the meanest bad-asses when you hit them in the ring folks. Easter is coming folks and like all Christian holidays we have no idear what our traditions have to do with the actual Biblical event they represent. We don't know what's in the Dublin water of late folks, but everyone's having babies.

And we just found out that you can't have a baby without a Mammy who knew? He's the only Irish actor we know of who has a must-do-topless-scene clause written into every movie contract, but hey, we still love the bones of Eoin Macken. We have no idea what that is or if it's even an actual thing Big ShowBiz news day folks.

Last night the man with nothing but tiger blood flowing through his veins showed up in Dublin with a wee porn star by his side. We're talking Charlie Sheen hanging out at the Slash concert When busty model Hazel O'Sullivan peers over her glasses and authoritatively says: We are starting to really get into MMA folks.

That's Mixed Martial Arts to all you non jiu-jitsu aficionados. You will have to forgive us folks, we're so excited that a small bit of wee just came out. There's a new night-time phenomenon sweeping the nation called Social Connections. Basically folks it's a mixture of mixing business with pleasure in a private party setting. Last weekend Dublin's social network landed in Krystle as entrepreneurial types sipped champers with model types DIT on a gentleman of taste and refinement at Dtwo.

Jockey to the oche, and the Crowned Prince was A favourite celebrity hangout hotel which has been off the radar for a while has refurbished and reopened. Thus, we have high hopes We're not too sure how to approach this one folks.

Those Hardy Bucks with their sometimes-hit-sometimes-miss TV show have really upped the ante. Not content with their wee spot on the RTE they've only gone and upgraded to a full-length full-on movie.

We're guessing they've got massive balls. He is Ireland's latest hope out in that Hollywood, she's Limerick's latest hope up in the big lights of Dublin. Individually they are Jack Reynor and Madeline Mulqueen but to those in the know, and by that we mean us, they're collectively called 'Jaceline'. Maybe it was the Valentines madness folks, but apart from the immensity of Cillian Murphy and Tim Roth, there were very few local celeb types at the Jameson Dublin International Film Festival Gala opening screening of 'Broken' last night.

We had high hopes Most of Dublin's snappers looked on with envy as some steady handed lucky fellar fixed and tightened-up her suspender belt.

We're thinking the Paddy's Day Parade is gonna get a bit more Rio-esque in coming years what with all the uber hot Miss Carnival Ireland contestants sambaing around the place. Last weekend the very beautiful and rather shapely Adriana Vieira was crowned Miss Carnival Ireland What with every other Irish female on Twitter claiming to be a Stylist you would think that there might have been a few more hues on the gunas at The IFTAs.

Some style guru in-da-know obviously said "black is in this season" and hey prrresto most of our lovely ladies rocked out in black. Black is the new black. It's been a long time around these here parts since we've witnessed such a well attended party with ner a bit o' room to swing a cat. Here is a mere selection of attendees Long time friend of ShowBiz. We've seen all sorts of crazy events organised for charity folks.

But male hair waxing in a night club is a first for us. But then again, whatever gets punters to part with their few bob for the Lily Mae Trust is okay with us We keep saying it folks, there just aren't enough Miss contests in Ireland. But still, we need more. Good news, here comes Miss Carnival Ireland She's Ireland's favourite sweetheart with the million dollar smile and curves in all the right places. Our Caroline Morahan aka C-Mo aint just a TV presenter and up-and-coming actress folks, she's also into the aul fashion as we saw when we spotted her doing a street-style shoot for her Littlewoods Ireland blog in Ranelagh yesterday The world's longest name film festival is gearing up for U2's favourite artist Guggi is back at it again folks.

His fascination with cup shaped objects continues to prevail in his art but it isn't losing him any fans going by the launch of his latest exhibition at the Kerlin Gallery on South Anne Street. They love being called WAGS, no really, they love it We always find the Miss Universe competition a tad biased folks. It's supposed to represent the best Missuses from all corners of the Universe yet it's always held on Earth and an Earthling always seems to win.

Even our own Adrienne Murphy didn't win this year, not surprising since she's outta this world It was probably the biggest Hollywood movie premiere we've had here in manys a year. The Davisons are so hot right now Oh dear, we may have inadvertently caused a wee storm in a B, C or D cup this week. You see, we snapped all the guests at the entertainment. There was a wee nip-slip-up Katherine Lynch's Wagon's Den is back with a bang on Thursday nights folks and still as mental as it ever was.

It's the glasses, chicks can't resist the glasses The very fabric of Irish society has been undermined in the past few recessionista years. The demise of the traditional cheese-tastic photocall is to blame. Fair play to that Brendan O'Connor fella folks. The brave Saturday Night Show host took on some formidable women last weekend.

He cleverly hid in his Da's shed, last place anyone would look. Anyhoo we nabbed Laurence Kinlan strolling down Grafton Street this week no probs. Good news folks, that filthy mouthed wagon Katherine Lynch and her long suffering sidekick Brian Dowling are back to camp-up and kitsch-in your TV screens. Wagon's Den recorded its first show last night with the likes of Helen Flanagan propping up the couch And with all the general wedding fever in the air newlywed Vogue Williams was in the hot seat gushing about her fellar Brian McFadden It's only folks and as per usual it takes a wee while for the party scene to kick off round these here parts.

So this year's first post shall have a Christmas theme. We are pretty sure we didn't die during the whole apocalypse thing but hey, what do we know? We celebrated life on They brought us the likes of Fade Street, Celebrity Salon, and Dublin Housewives yet instead of being locked up for crimes against television the Straywave crew were out last night celebrating their Christmas party.

Is there no justice in this country, well, is there? Plus, lots of model types turned out to support our very own Nadia Forde on stage giving it some of the aul: More good news this Festive Season folks, former BScene model agency business partners have become civil partners with a romantic yuletide reception at The Clyde Court Hotel.

It's our favourite time of the year again folks, yup, the Model Agency Christmas party season All our top motts wot model in the one place at the one time.

First out of the starter blocks this year was Assets at Bucks Townhouse. We couldn't be happier folks. Ireland's top catwalk model Sarah Morrissey has only gone and got herself all engaged to long time beau Pat Jennings Junior over in that New York. We caught up with the cute couple and their humongous diamond at the Excellence in Sport Awards this week Remember that whole TV3 Celebrity Salon reality show a few months back folks?

We do too, although the counselling is starting to help. Well, the good people behind the show have opened a pop-up Christmas salon for all you lovely ladies to get all dollied-up for the Festive Season while hanging out with fabloosh slebs We've not been loving The Late Late this season folks, it's starting to feel a tad dated and dusty.

Saying that, last Friday's show was back on point with Fair City stunner Vivienne Connolly showing she's far more than just a pretty face The catchy domain name had us there for a min then we worked it out - no polka dot com - get it? It was all getting a bit festive and flirty at Bucks Townhouse last night folks as a wee Santy fella had all the models a flutter.

It only got off the ground in yet the Trinity College Samsung Fashion Show has gone from strength to strength folks. Anything UCD can do Last week the chic student set catwalked their wee arses off at the exclusive Winter Garden of the National Gallery of Ireland, mind you And So It Begins It aint even December yet, and yet, the first of many Christmas parties kicked off last night and we're not even talking about the model agency bashes yet.

And no, not model politicians, don't get those two words mixed-up. Last night the beautiful and not so beautiful mixed seamlessly on the catwalk for The Oireachtas Christmas Fashion Show Well done to our very own Glenda Gilson folks for hosting her shapely backside off at Childline last weekend. We caught-up with her good self at the traditional Lillies Bordello gig afterparty rocking what they're calling a gee-shirt.

The Glenda really can carry any new trend off Where would you get a trio of Rozzas like this folks? That's it, we're changing our name to RozBiz.

Irish hairdressing success story Peter Mark is branching out folks, it now has a little sister store. Well, it's actually 3 little sister stores across Dublin, but who's counting? You may think a puppet parody based the infamous institution that brought Ireland to its knees is the last thing us Paddies would want to spend our hard-earned on? Well folks, you'd be wrong coz 'Anglo: We weren't really aware of the fact that Fashion Loves Ranelagh, but folks, it does.

And just to drive home that point all our favourite model types and fashionista types got together in the Cinnamon Cafe last night with The Glenda on the mic and put on a show The shapely Georgia Salpa was back sailing on home sea last night, she got all festive and Jack Sparrow on us She was the one-time BFF of thee Georgia Salpa and a rather successful model on the circuit to boot but our Daniella Moyles seems to have her eye on bigger and better things.

There's something about Adrienne Murphy folks. Our latest and greatest Miss Universe Ireland winner just effortlessly shines on camera and even though she's in Miss Universe prep mode, our Adri was back at the day job last night doing the aul modelling We love Irish traditions folks.

We gotta give it to Amy Huberman folks, we hear she's like six months pregnant or something yet she's out busily plugging her new book 'I Wished For You' all over the gaff. And we're only taking her word that she's in the family way as there was ner a sign of a baby bump on show as she fashionably rocked a military style jacket and skinny black shiny leggings at Newstalk this week Seeing as it's a dull and damp week in Dublin folks, we thought we'd bring you even more pics of lovely girls in bikinis.

It's just how we roll. But it's all in aid of Autism Ireland as the Miss Bikini Ireland contestants are bringing out a calendar this December Awesome news folks, an Irish model we earmarked for greatness over a year back is heading to the Miss Universe contest and really is in with a shout of taking home the tiara. Not since Che Guevara hopped on a motorcycle has a travel epilogue been more anticipated.

We are of course referring to the much talked about upcoming TV show featuring the original odd couple Glenda Gilson and Vincent Browne hitting the hottest tourist spots hard across the continent Shocking when you think Irish culture completely revolves around Beauty Pageants. But don't worry folks, we're sending 19 year old Tallaght babe Lisa Hogan to duke-it-out bikini stylee in Shanghai They've got GAA in their blood and passion in their eyes.

And if they hook-up they'll be calling them 'Cazanna'. It was 'Lessons in Lingerie' once again at Brown Thomas We had a bit of a ShowBiz wedding last weekend folks, and we couldn't be happier for the happy couple. Fair play to Georgia Salpa folks, she sure is making hay while the sun shines. And even though the sun wasn't really shining in Dublin yesterday, our Georgie-Girl was out on the streets launching her 'Salpa Salon' and massaging Lynx on to the heads of some lucky lads It's been a fierce long while since we last saw Brian O'Driscoll and Amy Huberman looking all casual at a social event.

The Late Late Show sure has got off to a slow start this Season but they kinda made-up for misdemeanours past with a bumper crop of stars last Friday night. And with those cheeky chaps One Direction heading up the proceedings our poor aul snappers had to circumnavigate hoards of screaming teenies doing what screaming teenies do It seems like birthday gal Holly Carpenter has been around the social-scene for yonks, yet she's pretty much a nubie since winning Miss Universe Ireland in Last weekend she celebrated her 21st with hunky boyfriend Cian Healy on hand.

They're calling them Colly. Big news on The Glenda front folks, our favourite former model come Xpose presenter has only gone and landed the Cheerios Childline Concert presenting gig alongside Keith Duffy. But no matter how big she gets, she's still Gillo from the Block Some of our fav celeb types musta been really busy during the Celtic Tiger years folks for most of them had buckets of kiddies on hand at the Irish Premiere of 'Madagascar 3: That's right folks, there's another Irish 'Miss' pageant on the horizon and this time we're all for it.

Well, some genius decided to take all the lovely-girlness outta the proceedings and boil it all down to a bikini parade. It's Miss Bikini Ireland Whatever the gals can do the fellars can do almost nearly as good-ish. That's what we say and that's what the good folk at The Sunday World say too for they gave us equality last night when they put on a beauty pageant for men in Lillies Bordello. Not content with being one-half of 'Madest' and having her appendix out live on Twitter, yer wan Madeline Mulqueen cornered the newspapers again this week after apparently taking a left hook in Maccer Dees last weekend.

We caught up with likely Limerick lass hanging around Smithfield yesterday, no doubt looking for The Horse Outside Fair We're taking bets on who'll last the longest, the bookies are calling this one Madest V Jonnolly Those canny folk at Straywave are at it again, knocking out new TV shows.

The new Grafton Lounge got all loved-up last night for the communal love-in Ireland's favourite and funniest actress Amy Huberman was out on the promo trail this week to alert one-and-all that the new season of Comedy Central's 'Threesome' is almost upon us. We weren't invited to the screening at Odessa but we caught her good self at Today FM Where to start folks, where to start?

Last weekend's Late Late Show was a rearranged format car crash in slow-hideous-motion. Some of the worst produced and presented TV we've seen in many a year.

It was like they wanted to do a Graham Norton but ended-up with an Alan Partridge. Best watched muted and from behind the hands, you know what we mean It all wrapped-up at Wrights last weekend Ner a sign o' Calum Best. Our newest celebbo couple attended the Irish Premiere of 'Savages' last night, they're calling them Hagus. We know your average Irish woman is a complete closet shoe fetishist folks, so those shrewd peeps over at Arnotts have opened a 10, square foot erotic adventure playground dedicated to the glorious stiletto heel.

Fair play to those handsome GAA fellas folks, they've started to step-out of the shadows of their rich rugby compatriots. Not only that, they're top blokes too always up for a good turn. Last night a few boot boys came out for a special charity fundraiser at Lillies Bordello We know we've harped on about the perpetual fabulousness of Amy Huberman in the past but folks, she rarely gets it wrong. Perfect mix of angel features and a sense of humour that would make a docker blush.

Our very own Hollywood actress via Roscommon and few other far flung places, Mischa Barton, is holed-up in The Gaiety at the moment starring in 'Steel Magnolias'.

We spotted The OC babe hitting Harrys Bar last night rocking a massive rock on her engagement finger We don't care how many Eurovisions Johnny Logan has won, a man approaching sixty should not be rocking out in jeggings. In fact, no man should. It's just so wrong on levels folks. Saying that, we're still strangely aroused yet completely disgusted by the arousal. Stop it JoLo, you're challenging all male heterosexuality with your tight-trou. We're troubled, somebody, Hold Me Now Where to start with this Calum Best fella folks and all the Irish models They're calling them 'The Madest'.

Both parties partied as they done-the-rounds of radio stations promoting stuff and just being generally fab We've said the streets are lined with models on many occasions before on this site, mainly due poor editorial and apathy. But it was always meant in the metaphorical sense folks. Yesterday the streets of Dublin were literally lined with models as the Dublin Fashion Festival kicked off with live catwalk shows under the clear blue skies Models Atop Grafton St Hear ye hear ye, the new golden dawn is nigh The summer's over and the weather just got good.

And with the glorious sunshine comes our glorious Irish models parading around like the streets of Dublin were paved with catwalks. In recent years folks, sightings of TV presenter now budding actress Caroline Morahan have become rarer and rarer. She's almost as mythical as Bigfoot or Nessy There's no doubt Glenda Gilson has the best body in the biz folks, but put that toned torso into tight denims and you're onto a winner. Well, it's almost upon folks. Sure, they wanted us there as the official photographers but we couldn't do the nixer as we'll be busy washing our hair and stuff this weekend Good news folks, in the wake of the demise of our beloved photocall queens proper fashion models have sprung-up all over the place like tall willowy flowers in Spring.

And where can these catwalkers go without talented designers to garb them out? We're talking burlesque, queens, cross dressers, and all the like - that was even before their Hen-slash-Stag party got going Another epic series of Celebrity Salon cometh folks. They launched the wee show at Dandelion last weekend Good news folks, amid all those summer Hollywood blockbusters there's a wee Irish gem called 'Shadow Dancer' doing the rounds at the cinema.

This week it opened with our very own Irma Mali there with a very lucky fellar on her arm Who wudda thunk it folks? Yes folks, it's that time of the year again when every self respecting woman in Ireland goes a bit weird and heads to The RDS for the Dublin Horse Show and ner a one of 'em goes near the nags. They stick feathers in their hats, break out the Debs dresses, and compete in Ladies' Day clothes coordinating competition We're not that aware of former Miss Universe Ireland Rozanna Purcell's background folks other than she hails from Tipperary and has unfeasibly plump lips.

Hats off to The Farreller folks, not only did he arrange to have the Premiere for Total Recall in his hometown, he also brought along the rather lovely leading ladies. So we know every single electronic and hardcopy publication in Ireland is gonna be running Katie Taylor today, and rightly so We snapped the golden girl yesterday as she landed in Dublin with the rest of the Irish Olympic boxing squad, and yes, she's as awesome and humble as everyone says she is With Brian McFadden laid-up with food poisoning it was down to his future wife to address the crowds in Dublin yesterday at the Gay Rights march.

To be honest folks, when we first caught sight of the majestic and awesome Wright Venue just as the recession kicked-in, we thought it wouldn't see its first birthday. What do we know? The WV just celebrated birthday number three with some fellar from Chelsea there getting the gals all hot and bovvered With the likes of traditional ShowBiz.

But good news folks, Her Vogueness is home at the mo getting ready to rock that body down the aisle There's that awkward moment you dread folks, you know, when you introduce your girlfriend to your parents.

Well, the Jedward lads had a similar experience last week when their girlfriend-of-sorts Tara Reid met the hardcore Jedite fanbase at the airport.

Luckily she was disguised as a 13 year old girl Lots of Dublin social types took literally moments away from their Twitter accounts to attend the Given Liqueur launch at The Grafton Lounge this week. We don't know what the actual attraction is between the Jedward twinnies and Hollywoodette Tara Reid. But the tasty threesome were back on Irish soil this week for a dinner date for three at The Trocadero We spotted the new bezzies strutting around town last week, they're calling them Mizanna.

Dublin Fashion Festival is coming right at us this September 6th, and it was all launched last week by the lovely Amanda Byram. Better than that folks, newly single model Irma Mali bravely stepped out on the catwalk in front of her adopted home crowd for the first time since breaking up with yer man Danny O'Donoghue When we hear the name Ted immediately we think of that poor accident prone priest stranded on Craggy Island dreaming of Vegas.

But folks those Hollywood types have hijacked our Ted and turned him into a filthy gobbed Teddy Bear, thankfully it's Seth MacFarlane's baby so we'll let this one run He was the man that brought us Fade Street and never said sorry, she was once Ireland's top catwalk queen now acting out in Fair City.

We can't remember the last time there were so many peeps looking like a virgin in The Aviva Stadium. But then again, when Madonna's dealing MDNA out to Dubliners you're always gonna get some quare looking folk knocking about.

It was very wet, yet there were voguers with conical bras everywhere What an opening weekend for The Dark Knight Rises, cinemas sold-out throughout the land. It seems that tragic pointless random slaying of innocence in America didn't scare Batman fans away on this side of the Atlantic.

We were at the Irish Premiere last week where our old friend Robert Sheehan was looking rather foppish indeed in his attire It was very much a Polish affair at Bucks Townhouse last night as hot business woman Izabela Chudzicka brought out a bevy of her beautiful native sisters for the PartyGirl. Right so, seeya folks. Okay, so we know Victoria Beckham is infamous for her Posh-Pout but we thought a wee visit to Ireland would put a smile on her face.

Sure, even the Queen cracked a grin or two while she was here and she's not even married to David Beckham. Still, Vicky B's new collection at Brown Thomas is pretty damn spectacular all the same There we were expecting a couple of mad quare wans waving American flags in funny hats outside the Bruce Springsteen gig at The RDS last night, and who should show up?

You know, research for their Abraham Lincoln biopic and all that. Big Springsteen fan Honest Abe was We don't know what's in the water those big rugby fellars drink but it most certainly has extract of the mythical mojo fruit added. Yup, you guessed it. Another lucky lad from a rugger background is dating a lovely Irish model. MTV's bright shining light in a gloomy grey TV landscape of generic sameness just happens to be a blonde Bray babe called Laura Whitmore.

Herself and Mandy Byram are running rings around all other small screen lady presenters over in that London, we caught up with The Whitmore at Saturday Night With Miriam One was the mammy of Ramsay Street, the other was the darling of The O.

We wuz all geared-up to hang with Fiddy this week folks at the Carphone Warehouse. Had our cameras blinged-up, gold teeth, parrots on shoulders, wooden legs, and eye-patches. That's how rappers dress, yeah? But all we got was lovely Louise Kavanagh in jean-shorts cuz that 50 Cent lad went and put his foot in it Ever since she legged it to that London top-heavy model Georgia Salpa hasn't looked back. Good news folks, her immenseness was amid us island-bound peasants late last week doing good for the Irish economy by splurging some of her UK glossy mag money in Dublin shops Good old Keith 'Duster' Duffy folks, he sure knows how to throw a party.

There's a new Irish website alive alive-o right now folks, and it's just for the laaadies. IE and it'll tickle yer fallopian tubes and other womany bits us fellas have no clue about That dynamic Rosanna Davison wan can do anything folks. Tony Stark hasn't a patch You heard it here first folks, mainly because we made it up. They, and by that we mean us, are calling them Gradia Ever heard of Bansha folks? No, neither had we We may or may not have snatched a pic of our Una's ankle Work hard, play even harder.

That's the motto of the cast and crew of TV3's Celebrity Salon. We caught-up with the so-sozzled-crew as they rolled-out of Harrys Bar the other night after a spot of Karaoke and a sneaky bevy or two or three.

All this stuff better make it into the actual show The gang of producers behind such shows as Fade Street, Dublin Housewives, and Celebrity Salon aren't so much handpicking contestants for their new breed of surreality shows folks, more building-up an extended and slightly dysfunctional family. Those Straywave cats brought the warring Housewives out to be styled by the Celeb Salonites at Hairspray yesterday Truth is folks, all we was gettin' was frames full of umbrella blockers and face-palms.

Now, we wouldn't be the world's biggest Westlife fans but fair play to the lads folks. They sure made a wee bit of talent stretch a very long way and to be really honest, a couple of their tunes aint all that bad. The fivesome-now-foursome said their final farewells with two massive monster Croker gigs last weekend Yes folks, she went off to that London to become a Playboy bunny and all that but she's home now, and boy did we miss her.

We're talking about bustilicious babe Louise Kavanagh and this is how she showed-up for work at The Gypsy Rose yesterday.

Okay, so the whole Electric Burma concert was a world class show of how to entertain and impress a deserving foreign dignitary. Bad news, her jumper reads "Not For Sale".

Darn, and there we wuz searching down the back of the couch for the Communion money and cashing in Granny's Prize Bonds Seems like celebrity lifestyle isn't all limos, lollipops, and belly laughs folks.

Pooped so they were Us poor Irish feckers just can't get a break. The rain is supposed to mainly fall in Spain but while it was belting down here in buckets, those cheeky Spaniards were kicking our wee green arses in Poland. Still, Jamie Oliver and Co. Where would you get it folks? An actual Hollywood star turned-up at an Irish movie premiere and a random spontaneous event related to the plot of the film occurred right in front of the press and assembled celeb types.

A few little known facts about Bressie off The Voice folks. His name is actually Niall Breslin, he once aspired to be a rugby hero, he used to do music in a band, and he even drew a moustache on a Juliette Lewis poster with a marker! That was all before he came our fav photocall princess. Let's face it - he's the new Salpa They've only just picked Miss Ireland and the next lot of lovelies are lining up to be Miss Universe Ireland Us Irish luv an aul beauty pageant so we do That fancy pants Claudine Palmer one was in for the 50th Late Late Show thingy last weekend, but her being all LA and stuff, one outfit just wouldn't do the job.

She darted from RTE in a haze of bling and heels, flipped her designer gear, and hit Bucks. Faster than Superman, even without a phone box For some reason Jedward were our main Olympic Torch bearers of note cuz, you know, their hair looks like the fire on a torch.

Well, at least they all got to keep the massive gold cigarette lighters. It all got a bit big-boys-toys last weekend what with the Bavaria City Racing thing blocking-off half the town. But not even the persistent pelting rain kept the big boys at home, well who wouldn't queue up to see The Glenda get her hands on Jenson Button's shiny helmet!

Phnarr phnarr woof woof etc Well, there's no denying that the much hyped Late Late Show 50th Anniversary special didn't deliver in buckets folks. Lots of guests and lots of memories, bags of impromptu interruptions, and many a dram of the hard stuff sank At times it all went Nell McCafferty Strange turn of events last night folks, we had Ireland's last favorite celeb and Ireland's latest bunch of celebs throwing separate bashes in the same venue.

Where to start folks? TV3's Dublin Housewives hit our screens this week and boy has it delivered. We were expecting this to be a pseudo glammed-up champagne soaked extravaganza of fakeness and false lashes. Sure, we got that. And so much bloody more A new fad has come to Ireland folks, and to be honest, we're kinda stoked. If like us you get your daily caffeine intake via hot milky beverages in any given coffee shop with an open door, then get ready for alternative.

It's called Bubblicity Tea and even our very own Kathryn Thomas digs it As Jedward arrived home from Eurovision disaster yesterday something dawned on us folks, Ireland will never win Eurovision again. It was Harrys on the Green once again last night as our favourite models had another Catwalk 2 Kilimanjaro launch party.

Now, we don't think they're going back up the African mountain so we reckon it was all to launch the accompanying TV show they shot way back when. We're not great when it comes to the aul facts The lovely big warm sun over Ireland was all anyone was talking about yesterday, ironic then that all the celeb types ran to the snow the first chance they got.

Finally folks, we found him. And right on our very own bloody doorstep. We're talking about the man whose song 'Mandy' made poor artistically frustrated Brian McFadden quit Westlife, we're hoping Barry Manilow is here to apologise to the Irish Nation Kearney Is Europe's Best The sun finally turned the map the right way round and found its way to Ireland yesterday.

We're feckin' back baby With the end of the era of Desperate Housewives just in sight, some of those lovely ladies have spread out across the globe to say so-long to the fans. Dublin was blessed with the elegance and grace of Marcia Cross aka Bree last weekend, who at a fine fifty cut a long slender figure on The Saturday Night Show We've noticed a trend of late folks, more and more celeb types are piling into photo opps with wee Louis Walsh. It seems the more bouffanty his hair gets the more peeps that are drawn to our Lou Lou.

Ok folks, we've kinda said we're already jaded with all these non-reality reality shows. Y'know, coz we have slightly functioning brains 'n' stuff. Saying that and knowing the ladies involved, we're still kinda - in an odd and strangely kinky way - looking forward to watching TV3's upcoming Dublin Housewives Say hello to last night's launch party Still, when the 'stars' of such things hit the clubs we're there with bells on.

Good value folks, two Miss Ireland's for the price of one in the space of two weeks. Maire Hughes had to give up her crown over the whole AgeGate thing and it was finally handed over to the lovely Rebecca Maguire at The Wright Venue last weekend The Glosie Are Back Hold on to your damn knackers folks for the biggest thing to happen in Ireland since a little thing called the Peace Process occurred last night.

Jeez, is there anything Sacha Baron Cohen can't do? Things certainly got hot in the kitchen at Harrys On The Green last night with Pippa O'Connor in situ as the resident chef in a sheer black dress.

The row over Maire Hughes being too old for the Miss World finals still hasn't gone away folks. A week after she owned-up to putting the wrong date of birth on the forms she found herself on The Saturday Night Show fighting her corner We have no idea what Geordie Shore is folks nor who Charlotte Letitia Crosby is, yet that didn't stop a massive foam party from kicking off when she showed up at XS Nightclub in Rathfarnham last weekend.

Finally folks, much hyped and even awarded Irish movie 'Charlie Casanova' got its premiere screening last night and who should show up? And it all went down at The Lighthouse Now all that Miss Ireland AgeGate is starting to abate caaalm-down, caaalm-down we can get back to business as unusual. We don't have much time to throw together a story today so we thought we'd just lash up some pics of our fav models in their underwear We attended 'Styled By Ladies and gentlemen, your Miss Ireland We just don't think we can get behind this new big spectacle fad going around.

In all the years we've been shooting Irish celeb types we've managed to miss yer man Marty Morrissey for the most part. And what a sublimely shaped headed man he is with a unique aesthetic that's almost mythical yet indescribable. It's hotly tipped to be the big blockbuster film of the summer and will no doubt turn a tidy profit here in Ireland, yet at the Dublin Premiere of Avengers Assemble this week there was ner a sign of the Hollywood stars. Still, at least they rolled out the red carpet and put up a big poster in The Savoy Those two spiky haired effervescent bouncing flubber balls of hyperactive insanity Well, that was all before Miss Tara Reid rolled into town.

We caught up with the twins yesterday after a few days hanging with the American Pie star, and boy did they have ner a drop of wind left in their sails Those crafty feckers over at Buck Whaleys aint sitting on their arses during the recession folks, nope they're pulling in the punters on nights when most other clubs are tumbleweed empty.

This could be worse than that time we found out Britney was a virgin no more folks. Hold on to your quiffs coz we exclusively snapped the bould Tara Reid 36 on the arm of wee Edward Grimes 20 leaving the 'American Pie: Reunion' afterparty late last night and then sitting on a Jedward's knee in the back of a car We warned you peeps this is big news We honestly don't have that many high-hopes for the latest American Pie instalment 'American Reunion' which has its Irish Premiere this evening with most of the original cast on the red carpet.

We caught up with Stifler and even Stifler's Mom as they arrived in Dublin late last night This time out it was all about finding rogue moles on under protected Irish skin. Alas, we found none on these two beauties apart from a rather suspicious tattoo on Miss Moyles' shapely left buttock.

One of our favourite characters is that stereotypical middle aged RTE presenter with the babies shoved up her dress obsessed with the glamour At first we thought it was an amalgam of The Miriam and The Blathnaid, but now we're thinking there's a lot of The Lorraine in there too What a contrasting showdown folks, the youthful hope filled gals vying for the Miss Ireland title up against the more mature lady from The Southside Housewives show.

Both sets of femme fatales crossed paths at Buck Whaleys last night We didn't stick around long but we bet there was murder on the dance floor There was a time folks in our not so distant past that no self respecting photocall queen would be seen plying her trade anywhere but the top o' Grafton Street. Stephen's Green at a stretch. But those heady days are long gone, and watching our very own Nadia Forde playing kick-about on The Mary Street yesterday compounded the bleak state this country is in And you thought the Coffin Ships were bad Stare at his face.

Now in your mind ask him would he like a cup of tea, then wait. Yes, wait and endure the protracted awkward painful silence before his deadpan response states in glorious monotone monosyllables: No I'm grand thanks A quiet Easter weekend on the celeb front folks so we'll revisit last week's car-azy VVIP Awards as the celeboholics filled with celebohol spilled-out early-doors onto the dry Dublin streets as Good Friday's prohibition kicked-in Irish stylee.

It WAS thee ironic award giving event of the year thus far Aint Ireland just grrrand We weren't even born the last time there was a musical at the Abbey Theatre, talking like 20 years ago.

But that all changed last night when 'Alice in Funderland' historically opened there. Lots of actor types attended but no Helter-skelters or even Bumper-Cars, Funderland has changed Model Louise Kavanagh's back home from that London after a spell working in the Playboy Club, apparently that qualifies her as an official fully licensed Bunny Girl. We all know how tough the Irish modelling industry is folks but we weren't really aware just how bleedin' tough a few of the glam girlies are.

So we were quite taken aback when we attended Dublin Pub Box at The Wright Venue last week where some lovely ladies knocked seven bales of brown shite outta each other Seeing as it's Monday morning we thought we'd get your week off to a bright start with some pictures of our fav model of the moment Karena Graham in her knickers. I wish more riders wore mirrors rather than making bonehead moves because they missed seeing a car or another rider.

Surfing is really cool. Skiing and snowboarding through off-piste through the trees with powder flowing like liquid over your thighs.

Mountain-biking, which is why the ratio of teenagers and young twentysomethings doing that to those doing road-biking is like to 1, whereas the vast majority of road-riders are middle-aged. Before you roadies get too full of yourselves, get real: They make your activity possible. Last week I was on a bike path and a red-tailed hawk was ahead, perched on a low fence-post, 6 feet from the path. Of course he would take off as I approached. He just swiveled his head as I passed, and we looked at each other eyeball to eyeball.

In the countryside, farm dogs guard the homestead. They always come out barking. I slow down, sometimes stop, and talk to them. I want to talk about safety measures. I ride an MTB mostly. One time just before sunset, I saw a bike headlight approaching about yards ahead. The cyclist was otherwise invisible, being shielded by trees. Cyclists are always bitching about drivers not giving them room or right of way. I decided to try using lights in the day, set on strobe.

High-powered ones, bar, helmet and tail. Big difference seen, by cars moving over way sooner to pass, and giving me right of way at intersections. Since I got lights, I started night riding.

I reinstalled the spokes reflectors and rear reflector, got ankle and left-wrist reflector bands the last for left-turn-signalling. I got a helmet mirror years ago. Great article and so true.. I love bikes, always have..

Cycling culture is such a wank. You guys can keep your 08 pro kits and carbon fibre. You guys take yourselves far too seriously for a bunch of week end warriors. Loving the all the responses. Never again did I judge someone based on appearance.

When my dad gave me a campy record gruppo italian bike in , there was no road attire available for 10 year olds. Actually, there were only a few people even importing racing bikes, and nobody in America made them for another decade. I just rode a lot until I outgrew it totally by age 15 in tee shirts and shorts in summer, and jeans and a sweater or light casual jacket in winter. I did my first century, alone and unsagged, during Easter Week in It was a ride of necessity.

I lived in Salinas, my girlfriend in San Jose. Returning west of Gilroy, I was going uphill 85, and the road suddenly curved. Which would have been okay, but it also simultaneously leveled. The car became unweighted and had no traction. So I unrolled it and walked to a house.

The owner insisted I go to the hospital for a checkup, and got a neighbor to accompany us. By the time we got to the accident scene, there were about 10 cars parked, with people searching through poison-oak-covered ground looking for the body. An ambulance and CHP officer were parking, so the homeowner, then me, explained the situation. The ambulance guys and officer insisted on taking custody. The doctor found glass in my hair.

The officer told me that several people died on that stretch of road, and I was lucky to be alive. Called my girlfriend from a shopping center. We talked for an hour. So-called aerodynamic attire is pathetic, given that recumbency is the real way to achieve speed, but UCI outlaws it. What if the pioneers of mountain-biking set permanent competition standards that outlawed suspensions and more than 5 speeds?

It would be like if track and field required vaulters to use bamboo-cane poles, so the world record is still 16 feet, and if and tracks had to be made of cinder gravel on dirt, so the WR was Or skis for races had to be made of fine traditional European ash, boots 6 inches high made of leather and tied with laces, and bindings guaranteed to break at least one leg a year.

What if the ASP required surfers to use kola or redwood boards, 10 foot, 80 pound minimum? Or whitewater kayaking competition required the use of 16 foot long Eskimo ocean kayaks?

Why is MTB way more innovative than road cycling? It was invented in America, the innovation capital of the world, B. Why roadies are such uptight assholes??? The faster you are the more uptight asshole you are. You just go fast… big f…g deal. I agree with Mark Mountain bikers are way cooler. Looks, personalities and even better bike handlers. And the best ones always try to help the newbies. ON the trails the faster ones always wait for the slower ones.

If you see another mt bikers… you always say hi. I like this article for what it is… just fun. When I pass you on the road I say hello, so I would expect you to do the same when you pass me. Every sport has their kooks.

No one reading this can honestly say they want to be one. Appears to be the same with Cycling. This article has been the most helpfu thing I have read so far. I kind of figured that hitting the road dressed like Lance Armstrong would be a dead giveaway, but I would have probably violated every other rule had it not been for this article.

Some of us just want to keep a low profile and stay out of everyone elses way until we get serious. Fact is that cycling is something everyone have an experience of so it abounds with wannabies.

Either by trying to outperform other cyclists, displaying his fancy gear, displaying his great knowledge with grim seriousity or — as a last resort — sulky comments about other cyclists safety measures. When I first read this article, I laughed because I thought that it was all a joke. Then I saw that the auther was on here defending this article and claiming that people really should follow these points of advice.

Ride hard… be courteous to other riders… ride hard… train smart… ride hard. This article is so ture. Anyone with hairy legs or reflectors on their bike is a power tool. Who needs a helmet? I only wear a helmet in races because I have to. They should just ban all use of trails to bikes period. I have a blue bike with blue tires, seat and handlebar tape. It is very fast and I usually get compliments on the bike because of the beautiful paint job. It is aluminum and carbon.

I wear a blue and white helmet to match and sometimes a blue jersey, black shorts with this bike. I also have a carbon fiber bike as well. I think the carbon fiber is faster but the aluminum bike has a lively road feel to it. I enjoyed the comments here and have actually trimmed my leg hair because I could feel it in the wind. I could not bring myself to shave the legs though. The legs are not that nice, and I am afraid women would not understand.

I love cycling as I am sure you all do. It is sad when such discussions become debate because of the foul weather of winter making everyone stir crazy to get out and ride. I am preparing for spring when I can get out and ride on the road again.

For now, I cyclocross. BTW you take that plastic ring off so the cassette does not fill with mud. I guess smoking a joint is out of the question. Must admit this is some good satire on purist roadies, if it is satire. I got tired of driving miles round trip just for the spend the day with riders whose attitude was symtematic of having a roll of quarters up their butt and only a seatpost to sit on.

This is my own take from those 10 tips. Cycling clothes are over price but will increase your enjoyment. Wait to be a good rider. Mark will happen less and less true time 6- A good thing to learn in cycling less is more 7- Plastic deflectors are useless and will affect your wheels true time. SPD are for mountain bike or for touring not for the road. Holy cow, you guys are elitist! Speaking as an industry guy and avid cyclist, this is crap. Who cares what people look like?

I think it looks cool. You make it sound like all cyclists are a bunch of seventh grade girls gossiping about how much cooler you are then them. The point of cycling is to go outdoors, enjoy yourself and get in a good workout. That being said, you are still a douche. Only thing I would ask for more would be it should be reflective at night.

After reading most of these responses, I have but a few comments to add: Trust me, I was at InterBike in September. The truth of the matter is this how I see it: Those who have more commitment to the sport than wearing a trendy team jersey during a weekend fundraiser ride, can easily spot the newbies in a crowd.

However, being a newbie is not a bad thing at all we all started there at one time. Those who can spot the newbie, will usually offer some advice or tips, in hopes of furthering the sport and its base.

No one bought and drove a Ferrari at age 16 for a first vehicle. Instead, you learned on a beater car, until you proved yourself able, knowledegable, and capable. I do recall turning 16, and buying some leather driving gloves to go with my 79 Trans-Am. True dedication is honorable, apparent, and NOT printed on a jersey. How to spot true dedication: Great article, I think a lot of people are missing the point and getting a little whiny though.

Understanding and compliance shows that you have been committed to the group long enough to figure these things out and deserve respect within the group. Despite all these people saying how great it is when a hairy legged weekend warrior blows a pack of experienced racers away that never actually happens in real life.

When I bought my first bike, i had not riden a bike in over 26 years and knew no one who road personally. I already went to the gym regularly so I had gym clothes and sneakers. So I road with what I had. I have become addicted to riding. Riding between miles a week for over 5 years. I decided to buy a road bike last year. Some of the bike stores I went to I had the idea that i had to buy all this additional equipment to ride.

I told them that I riden a comfort or hybrid bike for the last eight years. THey told me once I start rididng the road bike I will fall in line. That was over 8 months ago, I still ride the same way only increasing my distance a little bit since it takes a less time. I actually enjoy riding my comfort bike more even now. I like to ride straight up.. Ouch, what a load of bull. The fact that you can use bottles on the road really is deceptive as you are surrounded by far more dangerous things.

This article and all the commentary is great. Its like a cross section of a real peleton. The worst is a newbie jerk. The worst is a newbie jerk —old-schooled—. We need another list: I think Strealy — who commented about being a cycling newb but a veteran surfer with the ability to spot a kook from a mile away — hit the nail on the head with the intent of this article.

There are people out there who want to ride with more experienced riders and not draw attention to themselves. That is exactly the goal of this article, to help people keep a low profile while earning their stripes with the big boys.

Kurt, the first rule of surfing is to wear a nice Speedo and shave your legs. Any real swimmer will tell you THAT. Hey Gensheimer, I like Strealy have been surfing for 26 years, but I got into cycling about 3 years ago. At his car he handed me the frameset so I could check it out, I could not believe how light it was. At that moment I realized I needed to be on a bike, I had recently stopped playing basketball because I was to aggressive and always getting hurt.

The next day my trek was loaded in the car and I was riding at lunch around Burbank, CA. A few weeks later someone came in to work with a Specialized Allez, that night I spoke to my wife about my plans to get a road bike and three weeks later I was on a Specialized roubaix.

I continued lunch time rides ever since,. Jumping ahead about 2 years I was struck by a car and totaled my Specialized, but the good news is I purchased a Scott CR1 last year and am loving it. I dont surf that much anymore, partly because having a 3 year old makes it difficult to get any more then a morning sesh in, but I can do a 1 or 2 hour ride often.

The expression stoke is something I learned surfing, and the reality is being stoked is the feeling you get on a great day of surfing, when conditions are great and your surfing well and nothing else matters, your elated especially after a great wave when your yelping paddling back out.

The same feeling of stoke is obtainable cycling, I never knew it existed in the sport but often on a ride I get a feeling of nothing else mattering, a pure joy when everything seems to be working perfectly, Stoked. Glad I found the sport, and what I learned in the 3 years I have been doing it is pretty much broken down in Gensheimers article, and anyone taking offense needs to lighten up, get out and enjoy the ride.

Worrying about what other people think is a precondition for mediocrity. I just like doing what I do. CR1 — Stay stoked, and I know exactly what you mean. I just gotta be moving; on the road or in the water — stoked either way. Man, I hope this is all in jest, because it makes the author sound like just the kind of cyclofag I laugh at biking around town.

And then hang out for two hours, bike home, and consider that a day of cycling. I practically live on my bike. Best way not to look like a nubcake is not to be one, and the best way to stop being a nubcake is not to worry about whether you look like one, and focus on getting better.

This proves to me that rodies are the most elitist snothole group of any sport I participate in. I have ridden a road bike of some form or another for 30 plus years, it was not always the coolest or newest one and the looks I have gotten over the years are amazing.

I also ride mountain bikes, motocross, jet ski stand up , snow ski, surf and other crap. You have your skier vs snowboarder, motocresser vs desert racer, jet skier vs boater and in no other sport are the elitist snotholes worse than with rodies. I also make a point of lifting a couple of fingers not the middle one as I go by to see the snothole reactions.

I have hooked up with packs and had them look at me funny and even say things but as I either leed them or leave them in my dust they seem to shut up. I have had guys half my age drop off withcramps or whatever and give me all kinds of excuses why they could not keep up but they sure looked good.

If a faster cyclist passes me I will catch up and draft for a bit and then take over the leed when I can. I may not last as long in the front as the faster guys but I try to do my part. The tribute to the lateSheldon Brown is worth noting. Brown was the maestro of mechanics, who could fix or customize anything. He rode every kind of bike imaginable, on all terrain from highways to snow and ice-covered trails on studded tires no less.

His how-to website is known worldwide. Try to find one, two or three other people who also want to learn to surf. I would contact La Jolla Surf Shop about lessons. Also the Menehune school at La Jolla Shores apparently has adult instruction. Surfing is like skiing.

Getting instruction from people who are more than experienced surfers, who love to TEACH, will greatly accelerate your learning curve. The Shores is the best place to learn how to surf in SD. Kellogg has a year-round lifeguard station, and everybody in the water is in the first or second stage of learning to surf. A soft-top longboard is the best starter board. It has great floatation and stability, perfect for catching foot mushy waves that short boards stall out on.

The more waves you can ride, the faster you learn. Winter is a great time to start. The school-age crowd is gone. Offshore wind or no wind creates nice wave shape. You may want gloves and booties for La Nina winters.

The main thing is, staying warm keeps you looser and enables you to stay out longer. Your learning curve will be optimized if you spend at least 4 days a week and 8 hours on the water. The waves have better shape before the daily onshore winds kick up and the waves start to blow out, usually about the time the sun pops out 10 to noon. By arriving early, you can establish a position that later arrivers have to respect. Here the surfers are intermediate ability. These generate peaks, sometimes head-high and bigger in summer, and much longer rides.

I can tell you that I get passed up by fast beared old men in their faded lycra jerseys and old spandex covered Giro helmets ala TdF Lemond dayglo yellow with hairy legs. They blow pass everyone on the street and are super fast. Frankly, my point is that not everyone drinks the roadie juice and they should not be judge as rookies or not serious because they do their own thing.

Sigh — pretty standard fair but in truth one of the reasons I avoid clubs and organised events, that and the fact I have panelled a couple of said cycling zealots for being — well — cycling zealots I suppose, very ignorant and worrying people. Poster would never last in Europe— where all sorts wear pro kits, helmets are optional, and cyclists are generally practical like lights and fenders on a nice Italian steed.

It rains all the time, resulting in messy drive trains, even under the best of circumstances. I could go on and on, but why bother. I hope most roadies out there are confident in themselves to do and ride as they feel comfortable rather than just mimicking behavior in order to not stand out. Group riding etiquette is important to know because it can mean the difference between a safe and enjoyable ride and one that will find you getting yelled at or even worse, causing an accident.

Thanks for the tips Mark! Is it considered vintage yet since the team disbanded? Or must I still wait the obligatory 8 more years? Its all about the motor, and has nothing to do with hair, jerseys or overpriced bikes.

You have to be careful with this as well. There is nothing cool about a raggedy rider looking to race everyone on the road. There seem to be a lot out there with something to prove all the time and try to race strangers at every opportunity. You want to race, enter a race or join a fast group ride. Otherwise, be friendly and try to chat and meet other people on the road. At first I thought this article was intended for April Fools Day. By the end of the article I realized that it is nothing more than a written version of talk radio meant to stimulate controversy and debate during the off-season.

When I was in my late 20s and 30s riding in competitive events, I wanted to fit in and be accepted, so I succumbed to such antics as the author. As I became older I got more interested in touring by bike. Touring riders are every bit as serious about their activity, but a lot more into covering long distances, enjoying the ride and the landscape.

A racer attitude is so involved in keeping up or getting ahead that the scenary is irrelavent. Here in the southeast the summers are hot and super humid — a sleeveless jersey is far cooler than a regular jersey.

I just put on more sunscreen when I wear one. I wear a full kit when I ride my carbon fiber race bike, but I wear whatever when I ride my utility bike which happens to be an old Bianchi steel bike. Both rides are fun, in different ways. But I found one that blends in so well as to be almost invisible on the bike — yet gives a good view to the rear.

Only 2 guys on the weekly group ride have even noticed it and they were envious, not condescending. It looks sleek like something from Ferrari or Ducati, like a built-in part of the bike, not an ugly add-on.

The vast majority of cyclist enjoy the many facets of life and are not obsessive-compulsive about just one thing. Cycling is a part of their life — not the sole focus.

Every sport and hobby has its obsessive types — but those are also the ones pushing the envelope for new levels of performance and technology, which everyone eventually benefits from. I agree that the reflectors make you look like a putz.

The back pack has a strobe from a yahting store visable for miles. Reflectors are only good if they see you. Activly protecting yourself from drivers and other riders in bike dense communities like Boulder is crucial. Most riders will complain they cant see you. I was hit by another rider at night and the guy broke my helmet with his ocular. The other three months we would wear cheap wet suits we picked up from a surf shop.

All evens out in the end. Heading to Australia in the spring to race in the world championships. Sailing down and bringing my classic steel road bike with me.

You guys are either wanna be pros or caveman legged, dweebs. The guys like me that wear the odd jersey with our street shorts are having a good laugh at both you. Alas, what would be the point of all of this coolness, upmanship, and lemming-like conformity without testosterone? Make sure you got the most expensive bike of any of your mates. Euro brands net more points for your developing ego than domestic, so forget about Cannondale, Trek, and Specialized these brands mostly originate in China or Taiwan anyway.

Forget about steel frames; what you want is something sweet of plastic, recycled beer cans, or unobtanium. The plastic bikes make a cool swooshy swoop sound as they glide along. Their dead, wooden feel reminds you with every pedalstroke that YOU are the lifeblood of the deal, not the machine. If you are the next Craig Daniels, go for the aluminum. Only the toughest can take the pounding to the prostate that these exquisite machines deliver.

If you are an extrucker only an unobtainum steed can bring you that exciting feel of the rear part of the machine jackknifing around the front as you press the pace through a tight sweeper. Forget about wool jerseys, even though one could save your life when conditions change rapidly.

You need something synthetic. Try the new fabric-of-the-month model, then wash it five times in the smelliest scented detergent your local Safeway has. The woolen stuff offers protection from cold, light rain, and the nastiest sun, but never become smelly enough to ward off people wanting to challenge you even if you forget to wash them after five rides.

Never nod, smile, wave, or greet other cyclists on the road as you pass. That plastic pieplate thingy that came with your bike is not a spoke protector, designed to keep the chain from bouncing into your expensive spokes, thusruining your ride.

Just remind her about all the weight she saved. You are a fool if you wear a brightly colored rainjacket. Drivers can see perfectly well when it is coming down cats and dogs, and an orange, yellow, or white slicker has been proven by science to be no more visable than a transparent jacket.

Even if they were, do you think they look nearly as smart? If you ride alone, everyone will soon think that you are antisocial and do not care to look at their new bikes or clothing. If you really want to mark yourself as a loser, ignore my sage advise. We club riders do not have ANY personal or mental issues. Make certain that your razor has at least five blades.

That is what the pros use and to use a razor with but four blades is to waste time that could be used for training. Mine has got SIX. How many you got, chump? Wow, what a response, very entertaining to read along with the article. Really found it a little intimidating not being sure what to do and everyone jogging about so, so just kept it rolling with them and try to stay in the middle or so. Have to laugh about the statement about not being the chump and cranking out of the group way faster and pull ahead.

Must admit was the cheeser that did that in a race and shot the load about a quarter mile or less from the finish when around 5 others came back to pass me…oh well, a tool almost did it. Kind of funny, found myself in a group during the post race party and over a beer heard them talking about someone on a mtn bike in the pack, well that was me and I did admit it.

Will go back to my off-road trails where my tires done growl so much. Do a ton of running so, to add to my Toolitude of roading in a mtn bike, I wear my running shirts with biking shorts, and will admit even sometimes that running shirt is a sleeveless Mizuno or Brooks shirt. Jeezuz just kidding, nobody yell at me for that last statement. Actually, my wife is kind of hot and she shaves her legs. She used her mtn bike and wears her running stuff too, so we are good fitting tools.

So, you are saying that all these pro teams made their kits available for purchase for who? One of my friends uses duct tape to tape over ventilation holes on his cycling shoes in Winter so he could ride a little deeper into the season without wearing a pair of booties. I thought his idea was cool as heck. You might look ridiculous to some people with varying degrees of shallowness at first. But if you are determined and tried your best to better yourself, it will show and you will make a friend or two each ride.

If not, heck, keep on riding!! Umm, you guys realize that this article was for amusement, right? No one is going to kick down your door and steal your reflectors and helmet mirrors, nor will they thrown away your sweatpants and force you into a pair of Lycra shorts. The two sports are just about as connected as tennis and basketball — they both use a ball, but does Michael Jordan feel the need to whine about Pete Sampras?

Sorry, but the first comment nailed it — this is really lame. When I was 13 and first started cycling, I rode a big ass mountain bike with a fluro green jersey and tried to ride like a pro. I was an A-Grade tool but still a kid that had no idea. If I want to wear a team kit I will.

Matter of fact I just got a Rock Racing kit and it is bad. Yeah you dont wear the whole uniform that would be stupid. But team kits, if you want to wear it do it-be ready to ride of up front though. I ride my road bike 2k — 3k per season including many tough mountain centuries in addition to my 2k per season mt. I even do ALL my own bike maintenance.

Ride your bike however you like with whatever clothing or accessories you want. Just ride and open up your mind. Attitudes are for closed minded individuals. Perhaps the flaw is in the the writing style?

No over the top enough to make it obvious that it is meant to be funny? This was a great laugh. Years ago I was stopped at a light and a cutie rolled up next to me and asked if she could feel my leg, of course I said fine — I keep hoping it will happen again — 20 years later!!!

D-BAG is the only word that describes the author. I ride a fixed gear with street clothes with my bushy legs hanging out. Get out and ride and who gives a damn what you wear. This country is FAT! So the more people the better on a bike. I cant count how many times I have out-paced douche bags like this guy on my fixie wearing street clothes while being blinded by their coco buttered legs. Yea chicks really dig dudes with shaved legs that have no better excuse than if you fall it helps.

I never respond to this crap but this was worth waisting 2 minutes. No one looks more foolish than a group of spandex creeps that resemble an oiled up penis rolling down the road. Dudes, Dudes come on!! I thought the article was entertaining!! If Bill Gates wore a better cut suit and got his hair done and sported some contacts does that change why he does things the way he does?

If Lance or Eddy or some well know cyclist wrote the piece would you comment the same? While I agree with your points on general road manners and i agree with staying away from garish accessories… full fingered gloves , goggles, disc wheels, I could go on.. I for one, feel that a well dressed rider will be welcome in any group as long as he can handle his machine and keep up the pace. My pet peeve is riding with the cats that show up in the yellow and orange bert and ernie jersey, the green cannondale socks and the navy blue shorts all courtesy of nashbar.

Anyone who takes the time to, shave, carefully match his kit, and yes in the extreme case coordinate the bicycle shoe covers etc. Get a life bro!!! The article was fine as self satire, but ceased to be so when the author came on and started offering to race a commentator who disagreed with him. You do a disservice to the sport. The douchebag label must stick now. Paying attention to what other people tell you to wear or how to ride, rather than just going out to ride in whatever you like, just because you love to bike.

I see guys playing baseball or softball with Cubs, Yankees, and Dodgers caps and jerseys all of the time, but nobody seems to think anything of it!

Same with the basketball example above. My opinion about team kits is this: The efforts, the heroics, the traditions, the history, the pave, the idiosyracies, the embrocations, the shaving, the drilling of components, etc.

I have a Trek 2. Well at least it was still dark out and only 2 cars saw me! Gel in hair … coolest helmet. I totally agree with all this. All you idiots out there who look like tools ridding a bike gives the rest of us something to laugh at. And yes, we will se you at the finish line, when we are looking back to see how far back you are! The last thing I would want is to look like all the weekend warriors, or club riders with antlers on their helmets, or charity ride morons that ride all over the road one day a week- oh yeh, they have race numbers so I guess it is ok.

If I need to look a certain way, I will if it puts me in the right mindset to ride better. People who look good, and the homophobes who are threatened. Whats worse then all of this is the weekend warrior Harley bikers, all looking like mega tools just because they are on a bike. Wow, the only thing worse than a Fred is a darn retrogrouch. I guess he expects everyone to find a rusted out bike along the road, fix it up with borrowed sandpaper and spraypaint and ride it to victory in the weekly training races like he thinks he could.

Where are aerobars on this list? From time to time I let one of these dudes pass me on the downhill on purpose so I have a target to drop on the climb out. However, do some research and you will see that reflectors are x brighter than the best lights as far as visibility goes. Helmets, yup, buy a nice one you feel comfortable in and want to wear. Skimping on helmet or bike clothes and not feeling comfortable will just hamper you enjoying your ride.

I like my rearview mirror. It keeps me safe. When I see a big rig, I get the hell out of the way. I suppose some people took offense because they thought it was going to be about how to be a better rider, or better person. Anyways, as the author says, none of this applies to the recreational cyclist.

Personally, I think professional riders look more than a bit ridiculous. Seriously, why would any self respecting weekend warrior, with a real job, want to look anything like that? When the porfessional riders stand on the podium after a stage win, they often look like a member of the special olympics all decked out in their effeminate euro-trash lycra and shaved legs. You know the ones with a camelback or a mirror!

Lots of different views about the matter. I hope to continue to love this sport,,, enjoy. I passed a guy recently who was doing just that. He was going to get breakfast but was going the long way around , smiling and enjoying himself. I was entertained by this article. No one needs to take offense at anything said here, people are entitled to their opinions. I do wear Spandex, and at lbs I look good in it.

A safety-rated helmet is a must, and just recently I upgraded to a stylish Garneau; fits my melon perfectly! I am fit, proud to ride a bike, and hope to stay in great shape way past my 50th birthday next year. I thought the article was great, very funny. I am an avid cyclist but when I started I did many of the things this article says not to do. I think many of you are taking this article too seriously.

As you become a more serious cyclist you do become more aware of your appearance and start to dress the part. One of my fellow female cyclist mentioned to me rescently how other serious male cyclist ignored her on group rides until she got her Trek Madone 6.

This post is an example how bloggers should take a class in journalism and creative writing to hone their skills before writing for an audience. It was hard to tell weather this was meant to be a humorous blog entry that was funny, or a serious one that was so badly written that it accidentally came across as funny.

The company should pay for these blog contributors to take a basic journalism class or intro to creative writing class at the local junior college or extension program. This is a very high traffic site, so it can be likened to say a successful newspaper, so invest some time and bump up the quality of the writing.

Or get more qualified writers and dump the current crew. Anyone who takes this to seriously is a tool. These are good tips not to look like a TOOL. This BLOG has some people that have some beyond funny comments. Some of the observations are spot on. Wow… Where do I start? First, saftey… Use mirrors. Who cares how they look. If you toolaround at 30mph you might not one for obvious reasons. On the issue of attire, gimme a break.

How many of you really want to see a pounder in tights? I do agree with the team stuff. How many of us plaster our cars with decals to match a stock car? Leave the team outfits to the team members….

Leave the reflectors and plastic thingy on! There is nothing more fun than looking like a newby and then crushing a poser. I always got a kick out of passing people on the way up the local mountain and seeing the look on their face when they go to the top and saw the bike on the kick stand. Any way, as you can see with all of these passionate comments, cycling is a dynamic and often misunderstood sport.

I think the essence of the article is humor based on fact. Well, back to my tri-bar, beach cruiser with kickstand and handle bar bell. This was sarcasm, really I hope. Sadly, many of you roadie dorks may take it seriously. Tip 11 once you write article about stuff you have no idea what you are talking about you are going pro. With regard to the mirror comment, I can only say that my unobtrusive sunglass mtd. In these days of text messaging teens in only takes 3 feet of drift and you are toast.

Waving or nodding to other cyclists is just being friendly and probably a throwback to the days when the club was much smaller.

Cycling is a beautiful sport of the synergy between man or woman and machine regardless of attire. Does that make him a cycling rookie? Anyone sentencing a cycling amateur that he must shave his legs because of any other reason is just ignorant about the sport.

Also, outlandish grimaces and other facial expressions are NOT a must in pack riding, except in sprint finishes. Fortunately, road cycling is an old but still small enough sport in my country and a majority of the riders ignore the rules and just enjoy themselves.

Shaving your legs makes sense even without a masseuse waiting at home after the ride: This is happening when sweat evaporates from your skin. This works better with shaven legs than when droplets of the sweat cling to strands of hair.

Not shaving because of what people might think when you are off the bike is as stupid as doing it to look cool to other cyclists when on the bike. If you are really hairy, beleve me, you will notice the difference on a hot ride! What cycling dweeb wrote this article? I bet he or she is a ball to bike with. If you care about how look while cycling, you should probably just drive your car.

I live in an urban area and quite often come across bicycle messengers. I most always get smoked by them on their single speeds and have even witnessed a world class triathlete on a training ride get burned by one on an uphill.

No one will make fun of you when you smoke them on the uphill. I think you look more like a fool if you adhere to all the rules in the article and I blow by you.

Black socks are totally uncool for anybody. Be it a rookie or a pro. We have a few friends who have just bought bikes and are otherwise athletes. But they are breaking all the rules and embarrassing us. So this list helps a lot — we make them all read it before we let them ride with us. Ha, ha, ha… this is hilarious! Most of the postings are comically extreme! It was WAY more fun than reading the Sunday comics!

It made me want to get rid of my run of the mill cycling clothes and go out and get me some totally outlandish togs, with antlers, etc! It made me realized just how much of a tool of the cycling industry and culture I have become by letting myself be sucked in by such nitpicky details. It would also provide the added benefit of entertainment while I ride, because if you really think about it, the aghast looks on the faces of uppity people, as they shudder in horror, make them look very silly.

To hell with that… and to hell with anyone who has a problem with that. So, keep you feminine looking gams! Let me just add that I wrote this article giving people tips IF they care about how they look. And for dudes like Jason who want to rock togs and antlers, more power to you bro! I would personally LOVE to see that! Especially if you could show up to a group ride and drop bombs.

Roadies take themselves waaay to seriously. It helps those who are new to the sport and care about fitting into racing circles a guide on how to not get laughed out of the peloton. But in the end, as some people have pointed out, regardless of how you dress, just get out there, have fun and stay fit. I hope this was written a little tongue and cheek.

I would say you are being a bit of a snob. I bike in F for 2 hours road bike at a time, a camelbak just makes sense. Hey at least I am out there trying! One thing I noticed is that he lives in San Diego. San Diego is an incredibly image conscience town. I have some experience there, as my parents have lived many years in the area. Image is important and so is being accepted by the greater group, in this case the peleton…. Also, as important as image is, not being hit by an automobile is of equal or greater import.

Your image goes the second your facial structure leaves you. Not necessarily on every single ride, but on the ones that I consider riskier. So forget about what San Diego buddy thinks, don that light, reflector, team-kit, so you can see-and-be-seen. Ahh… a trip down memory lane. Nothing like being able to visit that judgemental kid from 6th grade who never grew up and gets excited about heart monitors and men with shaved legs. Your article is amusing but so pompous in many regards giving roadies a bad rep.

Just ride and have fun. How cool can you look after being hit by a car? But no one who rides on city streets or highway shoulders should listen to him. In some bad situations you need to know ASAP whether it is safe to veer toward the center of the road, and a mirror can make all of the difference. For instance when you are sailing along the side of a highway and a goose, groundhog, or deer suddenly steps out of the bushes and onto the shoulder in front of you, your options can be 1 hit the animal, 2 veer right into trees or off a cliff , or 3 veer left onto the road.

Besides the paceline behavior stuff, most of this is stupid cultural BS. No one needs to shave their legs. I recommend bib shorts and jerseys of whatever fit you like. If this requires wearing a Camelbak … so be it. SPDs are fine, especially if MTB is your other hobby and you have no desire to duplicate your shoe wardrobe.

The most dangerous cyclist in the world would sport a Hello Kitty team kit and be sponsored by Dr. You spent money that keeps the LBS in business and fully capable of doling out the more affordable and less lucrative entry level bikes that make up the core of the cycling world. Do your own thing. Learn from our messiah, Sheldon Brown.

Wear an Eagle on your helmet, and do it proudly. I nod, wave or say hi to people; endure loads of ridicule from my Mtn bike buddies for being a roadie; thinking about getting a little bell to announce myself on the many riding paths around here; passed a peloton that looked very much like the one mentioned above 3rd year ; Lastly, I ride because there is nothing else like it to relieve daily pressures of life.

Its hard to worry about the day when your concentrating on where your next breath is coming from!! I am looking for the lightest bike I can afford, it will be carbon. I love to ride two wheels and will buy the lightest items I can find and afford! I think all the comments are a riot, enjoyable reading! From the comments the article makes the roadies all nod in agreement since they value a high degree of uniformity within their unique sub-culture or else they will be ridiculed.

It also enflames many causal riders who are not a part of this culture yet would like to meet people to ride with or not and make a few friends along the way.

Makes me miss for by gone times. Personally, I nod to most…and I wave once in a while too. I ride a white Time Vibraser around Pasadena area and have a white helmet with long blond hair sticking out. If you see me coming…nod or wave Hi. Seriously, this is like the old comedy routine that said it was unmanly to eat quiche.

Think about it, that hydration bag is a spine protection device should you dump it and land on you back. Also, when your in that TT tuck, breaking tuck to grab your water bottle is a bad thing. Using a Camelback type hydration system means you can hydrate without breaking tuck. I understand what the guy is trying to say, and if you are going to to race or wanting to look good in a bike club I can see where it might be decent advice. BUT I see a old guy all the time riding down one of the bike paths here in Seoul that has one arm an old bike and ill fitting clothes, and I am very happy to smile at him and give him a nod.

When I am in the countryside and I come across another cyclist I am happy to give him a wave since we are both are willing to ride in the middle nowhere. So far I pass far more than those who pass me, not that I am a super hero, but I am still to fast for golf. Personally I love being a Fred.

Nothing more fun than catching a poseur on a pro bike on my old beater bike, sandals, and cutoffs. There are things that score you real style points though. Knowing the fancy way of folding a sewup and securing it under your saddle with an old toestrap always impresses. Full team kit with yellow jersey or jeans and a t-shirt… wear where you want. There is nothing better than overtaking a full teamkit type up a hill.

I ride a 9 speed DA on a steel bike in spd sandls a tidy beard and dreads halfway down my back. Lycra is the best but that is where it stops.

Explore Bournemouth